Confessions of a Homeschooling Mom

When I first heard about homeschooling, we hadhide - like behind polices and procedures. There
2 children as opposed to the almost 7 we haveare places to escape - like the break room or
now. I think our oldest was not quite inhome, for goodness' sake. If you mess up, you
Kindergarten. Life was definitely different. I nevermay receive a warning or some form of
did think it was crazy or weird, as some do,corrective action. If your employees mess up,
because I always had a longing to get out of thethere is a policy and procedure manual that tells
workforce and be at home with my babies. Whenus step by step how to deal with every possible
that longing finally became a reality 5 years ago, Isituation. I should know: I helped write it. But with
had just given birth to our 4th child.parenting - and particularly homeschooling - there
At this point, my husband and I decided if weis no manual. There are no warnings or corrective
could ever make it work on one income weaction where your boss tells you how to fix the
would pull our kids out of school and bring themproblem. Nope - it is all you.
home. That is exactly what we did. I wasn'tI began to discover that all of the things that I
completely ignorant to what homeschoolingstruggled with: patience, kindness, selfishness,
required because I had been exposed to itself-control, anger, etc. - were the things that I
through several friends that had already beenwas dealing with most. I thought this was
homeschooling for years. But, like any good thing,supposed to be about the "Three R's," or even
I had my idea of what it would be like, and thenabout developing my kids' character. The truth is
there is the reality of it.that those things are part of it. But the schooling
I naively envisioned:doesn't stop at the children. How can I expect my
- Children gathered around my side readingchildren to have exemplary character, if I show
together for hours.them daily my own lack? How will my children
- Craft and art projects that would make Marthalearn how to be diligent in completing their
Stewart green with envy.schoolwork in a timely manner, if I can't stop
- Brilliant children that would far surpass all of theirwasting all my time on Facebook? How will my
public school peers.children learn to make peace with each other if I
- A clean house with the smell of homemadeam constantly arguing with them?
goodies for snacks.For us, homeschooling isn't taken on a day-to-day
- My children would be best friends, and nary thebasis or year-to-year basis. It is part of life. It
unkind work would be uttered between them.may be one of the hardest parts of life, because
- My husband singing my good graces toI am faced to see myself and all my weaknesses
everyone he met, and my children adoring andreflected back to me in the eyes of my children
honoring me at every turn. The center of all ofevery single day. It would be much easier to
this domestic bliss, of course, would be me.shuffle them off every morning to an expert
What I have found over the past five years, iswho will fill their heads but not their hearts, and
that far from being the center of all of thisnever have to deal with the parts of me that
domestic bliss, I am often the cause forneed to be dealt with. Yes, after five years of
household strife. It is true. I am at the center. Ihomeschooling (and at this point, about 17 more
set the tone, as my husband is fond of remindingto go) I can honestly say that I was right and so
me. What I didn't realize when I set out on thiswas my husband: I am the center and I do set
path called homeschooling, is that I was the onethe tone. That just doesn't look the same way
who would get schooled and needed it the most.that it did in my imagination. The lessons I have
When I worked full-time at the corporate levellearned from homeschooling start with an
conducting management training and investigationsexamination of my own heart. Only then am I
in a human resource capacity, I thoughtcapable of teaching my children the lessons they
homeschooling would be a breeze comparatively.need to learn.
But in the corporate world, there are places to