Starting Homeschooling in the Middle Grades

I spent the first few years of my son's lifehomeschool".
reading a lot of books about parenting and quite aWe agreed to homeschool as a one-year
few about homeschooling. I remember thinkingexperiment. I will admit the first weeks were
something along the lines of "it's great that peoplerough on both of us. I lay awake at night
can do that with their children, but I don't know ifwondering if I was ruining his life. He, on the other
I could." Especially since my son was an only child,hand, was in the process of "deschooling", though
I didn't feel that family, friends, andat the time I had never heard the term and
acquaintenances would be supportive of himwondered why he didn't want to get off the
spending so much time with only me. But I lovedcouch and do all the fun learning things I had
sharing books with him and teaching him newplanned. He had seemed depressed in the middle
things, playing imaginative games and making upschool and now he still seemed depressed. But
novel ways to learn. Always the dutiful momwithin three or four weeks, we found a
wanting to do the right thing, however, I visitedhomeschool support group that met weekly at a
preschools, found a great Montessori school, andlocal park. I was able to talk to parents with
enrolled him. That worked fine and still left usexperience in homeschooling, and he was able to
more than enough time to learn together.see there were other kids like him and that he
Fast forward a few years, though, and we foundhad a place to make new friends. A few weeks
ourselves living in a different state, in a countylater, he told me he did not ever want to go back
with an overcrowded school system, with middleto that middle school, so that we would do this
school rapidly approaching. I was alreadythrough eighth grade. Six months later, he took a
disappointed in the elementary school he washomeschool coop class in algebra and met
getting ready to leave, because despite hishomeschooled high-schoolers. Then, he went a
achievements and fine grades there, I saw gapsstep beyond as far as I'd ever thought about,
and deficiences in his learning that I could notannouncing he also wanted to homeschool high
easily help him repair with the very few hours leftschool.
over to us at the end of each's day's classes andSo here we are today, on the threshold of
activities, especially when we both were tired. Heeleventh grade. It's been an incredible journey and
was doing advanced grade mathematics and yetsometimes I am as amazed as anyone that it has
needed to use his fingers if I asked him to do aworked fine. After the first year, it got much,
quick calculation at the supermarket. When hemuch easier. We learned about one another's
wrote anything longer than a phrase, heexpectations, made compromises, and, in time, he
committed multiple spelling errors. And while hebecame the self-motivated learner he had been
had hours of "creative" homework, his foundationas a pre-schooler all over again. While I did teach
in basic skills seemed shaky. What was reallyduring those middle school years, I find for high
frightening to me is that his academicschool I am more the guidance counselor, the
weaknesses seemed to grow after he had justcurriculum consultant, and the recordkeeper.
spent two years in "gifted" classes and now heI'm writing this for all parents who were like me,
was scheduled for all six of his middle schooldaydreaming about homeschooling but wondering
classes to be "gifted" classes.if they could really do it. I remember once during
The middle school turned out to be even morethe summer after my son's fourth grade year
overcrowded than the elementary school.thinking that he was one-third of the way to the
Homework began to take up to five hours eachend of high school and that there was SO much I
evening, depriving my son of time for readingwanted to tell him, teach him, share with him, and
books of his own choice and threatening to leavepass onto him in the eight years that were left,
him no time to attend his beloved weekly theatrebut that with school and social activities it seemed
group. It just didn't seem right, especially since hethere would never be enough time. Well, let me
seemed to be learning more from the books hetell you, without "real school", I've been able to do
read on his own and was gaining incredible poiseall that telling, teaching, and sharing in just the last
and speaking ability from participating in thefive years....all of it. That feeling of not enough
theatre group. Seven weeks into middle school,time has gone, replaced with the knowing that
after I had suggested it several times, he camewhatever the future brings, I've given him the
home from school one day and basically said, "Iexperiences, the knowledge, and the foundation I
don't want to go back there; I'll try your idea towanted him to have. Seize the day!