| Once upon a time, in the distant past, people did | | | | and admire us, and if we perceive ourselves as |
| what they were trained to do dancers danced, | | | | having valuable thoughts, feelings, ideas to share, |
| authors wrote, lawyers argued, doctors doctored, | | | | our anxiety can’t find room at the table. |
| corporate heads led, and everyone lived happily | | | | We’re too busy with our |
| ever after in their neat little niche. End of story! | | | | enthusiasm. We’re too busy having a good |
| But times have changed. Now, it seems, | | | | time. We’re too busy being real to worry |
| everyone at one time or another will be called | | | | about how we’re being perceived. |
| upon to speak about their work, about their | | | | I’m here also to tell you that how you feel at |
| product, service, idea, or vision. What was once | | | | the podium—joyous, enthused, sincere, |
| reserved for the talented few has become | | | | knowledgeable—is how you’ll be perceived |
| commonplace. From homemakers to lawmakers, | | | | by those listening. What you project is what you |
| from leaders to leading ladies, from talking heads | | | | get back. How you see the world is how the |
| to corporate heads, all must face an audience at | | | | world sees you. |
| some point in their lives. | | | | What made my own dread of standing up in |
| And most dread this prospect. I mean really | | | | public fade away was a change of mind and a |
| dread it. It is an often-quoted fact that public | | | | change of heart. It wasn’t learning tips & |
| speaking ranks above death in the list of | | | | tricks, although those can be helpful. But tips |
| people’s fears. I get it . . . I know. I used to | | | | & tricks are only band-aids on a spiritual |
| be among the ranks of those who would rather | | | | wound. The fear of speaking in public is not a |
| dig ditches than get up in front of an audience. | | | | material fear, like the fear of meeting a bear in |
| You may be wondering what changed in my life | | | | the woods. It is a spiritual fear—internal, not |
| to make this fear vanish. | | | | external. And so the cure must also be spiritual. |
| Well, first of all, it did not vanish. It faded away | | | | We may gain confidence from learning tips and |
| gradually as I was forced to get up in front of | | | | tricks about speaking in public, but in-depth |
| groups to share a technique of teaching that was | | | | confidence is to be found only within us. When we |
| unique, lots of fun, and something I passionately | | | | examine our motives, when we fish around in our |
| believed in. I forgot my natural reserve. I threw | | | | hearts for true meaning, when we unearth our |
| myself into the moment. I set it up so that I | | | | own voice, then we command the stage with |
| wasn’t lecturing, I was conversing with the | | | | presence—a presence born from knowing who |
| audience. Then I understood that directing a | | | | we are any why we are there, then we claim our |
| conversation felt natural, whereas giving a | | | | power. Anything less is window dressing. |
| speech did not. And so I decided that whenever | | | | So the moral of the tale is simple: before you |
| I would get up in public, I would not give | | | | work on a speech, you must work on yourself. |
| a (dreaded) speech, I would simply hold a | | | | You must have a talk with your mind before you |
| conversation. | | | | talk to anyone not living inside your head. You |
| You may think I’m quibbling; you may think | | | | must explore what you love best; what really |
| the distinction is unimportant; you may think that | | | | turns you on; why it is of value to anyone else; |
| just being in front of an audience would give most | | | | and how you can make it a story they’ll |
| people hives. But I’m here to tell you that | | | | never forget. And contrary to the advice you |
| performance anxiety does not take place simply | | | | may hear from others, you are not on the |
| because we’re on a stage, or in front of a | | | | podium primarily to engage the audience. The |
| room. Performance anxiety takes place in our | | | | audience’s pleasure is always a by-product of |
| mind! If we perceive our audience as our judges, | | | | you engaging yourself. For if you are not having |
| then we develop knocking knees and sweaty | | | | fun, no one else can. If you convey authenticity, |
| palms. But if we perceive our audience as our | | | | your truth will find its way into their heads and |
| friends who have gathered to cheer us | | | | their hearts. |