Please Communicate in English

The Inglish Langwij is 1 L of a language forKiwis, French (they stole Le Weekend) and the
travelers so I say 2 L with travellers but pleasebloody Internet ( r u ok 2 4 lol ) replacing even
communicate in some version of English, just givethe Cockney rhyming slang of 'a' for 'orses, 'b' for
me a clue as to which version.cattle, 'c' for islanders and so on and so forth or
Recently I sent an email to a Dude Ranch'come forth and conquer' or 'come fourth and lose
operator in one of the northern states using theyour beer money.' Are you still with us?
word 'traveller' which is the way I was taught toWot is Inglish? Bungalow is from India (bung a low
spell it many decades ago. I received a terseroof on), budgerigar is Australian Aboriginee (I
reply and admonishment to my email saying thatthink), theatre is French, 'your welcome' is
if I could not spell traveller as traveler I obviouslyAmerican, g'day is Australian and so who cares
could not be trusted with her business listing athow traveller is spelt, apart from an unhappy
TopTravelSites. I replied that the '2 L' spelling wasdude rancher.
used more than the '1 L' as this was the originalWotufink? How about finding a word now called
'English' but this has since made me think about'English' that has come from another country?
the predicament of those of us who think thatEvolution is great for language, speling, grammer
we speak the same language called English!and sin-tacs are important but they have all
I was created in England and considered myself achanged over the centuries and are hopefully still
reasonably adept 'speller' although not in thechanging to make us all better communicators,
'wonderspeller' category, but still pretty good for awhich reduces the risk of misunderstandings such
limey, pommie, brit or whatever we are beingas the Aussie who was arrested for saying 'Fair
called lately.Dinkum' on an internal USA flight, sheer stupidity
Having travelled or traveled extensively over theon the part of the flight crew or merely a lack of
past decades to Australia (I am still trying to learn'worldliness.' I hope the latter or as an Aussie
'strine'), New Zealand (Maori phonetics), USA (awould say "bloody right mate!" or "my oath."
separate dictionary for 'English' but still not calledHave you heard the one about the Englishman,
'American'), Canada (both Webster's and theIrishman, Scotsman, Welshman, American,
Oxford add to the confusion) and now beingCanadian, Aussie, Kiwi who wrote to the United
rebuked over the internet by a cowboy (I think itNations? No? Just as well then.
was a cowgirl or cowperson), I can only try andThat's it from me y'all, so I'll just change out of
put pen to paper and hope to be understood bymy whistle 'n flute (suit), put a bug rake (comb)
anybody that is interested in the Inglish Langwijthrough my barnet fair (hair) and give me mate a
and help a few travelers and travellers on theirbell on the dog 'n bone (phone) to see if he wants
journeys.a swift one (a pint) down at the rub-a-dub (pub)
'Our' language is a mongrel of the first water andand then go for an Indian (curry) or chish 'n fips
maybe this attempt at humour or humor willat the takeaway (take-out) before heading back
generate some debate or discussion so that weto the flat (apartment) to get the trouble 'n strife
can all have a bit of a giggle but we should also(wife) to make me a cup of rosy lee (tea) before
appreciate the power and strength of mongrelsheading up the apples 'n pears (stairs) to the land
such as low vet bills and good survival rates!o' nod for a kip.
One of my favourite or favorite books isIf you are curious about whether I spell traveller
Churchill's 'History of the English Speaking Peoples'with 1 or 2 L's and you 'ave 'arf a mo' to spare
but let's just think back to the language ofyou can have a gander at toptravelsites, so skol,
Shakespeare and then go on to Ayn Rand (Atlassalut, bottoms up (oops! not PC), sante from The
Shrugged), James Michener (Alaska), Neville ShuteNomad as I go to run my grammar and
(In The Wet), Edward Rutherfurd (Sarum andspell-check software on this diatribe and check
London) and J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter), taking intomy cheques or checks to enrol in an ESL
account the outright theft of words by theprogram.
Welsh, Irish, Scottish, English which hasAnd remember, English is considered (by the
progressed to the Oxford English Dictionary (aEnglish that is) to be the universal language of
WISE move eh what?), but which is once againtravel. It's all terribly confusing, eh what?
being stolen by the Yanks, Canucks, Aussies,